Why is everyone so vexed with the organizing committee of the CWG? They have put up an amazing job within five years. They truly need a standing ovation for their supreme piece of work the "CWG". I do not understand why all the news channels are so negative in their thought process about the CWG. Haven't the ever heard Manish, spokesperson of Congress speak? Thats how every Indian should feel. No matter how deep are you in a whirlpool of shit just ignore all that and put on your India T-Shirt and cheer for our doped weightlifters.
I would like to dedicate my post to him and list down the positives and the deep thought process which occurred in the background.
1) What's the fuss about the hygiene at the games Village. It is not due to the carelessness of Mr. Kalmadi but it was his idea to give all the overseas players a flavor of India. It is all because of the foreign tourists who are so amazed to see the poor, hungry and naked India that Mr. Kalmadi decided to bring it at the athletes doorstep.
2) The Oz : Dont you dare comment on the security issues in India. Have you ever heard of the name KASAB? Do you know what kind of security we provide even to a terrorist? So shut the fuck up and go eat some Kangaroo shit.
3) The UK : Now these guys are being totally unreasonable. They did not have any problem being in India 200 yrs ago even when we did not want them to be and now all of a sudden being in Delhi for 2 weeks has become inhabitable for them.
4) BBC : whats your problem with the Toilet seats. Kalmadi uncle is spending Rs. 3500/- on the paper with which the players are going to wipe their asses. THREE THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED RUPEES. Get it? Half of the population here don't even earn that much in a month. You should be glad that your players don't have to line up beside the Nizamuddin railway track.
5) The false ceiling episode. OK I admit this is where we screwed up but it was not intentional. It was just a typing error. Kalmadi wanted a false ceiling but he misspelled it as FALLS ceiling and the contractors gave one. Whats the big deal. You know the "To err is human and blah blah" saying right?
6) What is wrong with dogs on your beds? You Europeans are the ones who are so obsessed with pets. You are ready to lick drool off your pup's mouth but you cant stand Indian dogs on your beds. Huh. Moreover it is going to be our national animal after we kill all our Tigers. we have even started a reverse countdown with MS Dhoni hosting the show.
7) Corruption is not an issue in India. More over when it is called Common Wealth it's wealth is destined to be into the pockets of our organizers.
8) Every Indian should take inspiration from Sheila Dixit who in turn looks up to the Brand ambassador Aamir Khan as the eternal Guru. His motto being ALL IZ WELL has worked wonders at the box office. Mrs. Dixit is also following the same policy no matter what happens, she is hopeful that everything will fall in place just with an Aal is well song.
9) Paan Stains : This is what we call art. If you do not have an eye for it ignore it but do not dare to criticize it. Do you think the only artist we had was Mr. Hussain who could only think of people and goddesses naked? We have an artist in every household. The organizing committee is even planning to introduce a new sport : athletes need to spit on a target 10 meters away.
10 ) Last but not the least , this our only chance to win as many medals as we can. With most of the athletes withdrawing from the games we can easily top the medal tally. It would be a proud moment for the nation. So stop criticizing the games and support our players. It would be really embarrassing if our athletes do not win even after Kalmadi has eliminated half the competition.
PS: When will Rehman come out of the Jai Ho fever and start working? The theme song sux. Rather have the Munni Badnaam hui track as the theme.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Islamohobia
Saffron White Green. Our Tricolor. Religious Symbolism : Hindu-Peace-Muslim. What a great thought. A democratic and secular nation where one can practice their religion freely in an atmosphere of brotherhood
OR in other words "MISSION IMPOSSIBLE".
Throughout the post I am going to be cynical about the Stereotype Muslims of the world.
I find it strange that most of the conflicts around the world involve Muslims. May be they are oppressed worldwide or they are damn belligerent. I have decided to write down the top 10 things which come to my mind.
1) Kashmir : No, India would not make Kashmir an Independent state. That would result into another Islamic country and we are already surrounded by two. We do not want a third one. NO there is nothing called kashmiri. First rehabilitate all the Pundits displaced from the valley. Then ask them to have as many kids as possible then India might think of Kashmir. Whats with these guys someone burns the Quran in USA and they protest in Kashmir and want a separate country?
2) Zakir Naik : Who the hell sucked his blood out and why does he behave like a walking talking index of the Quran and Bhagwat Gita? Is he and Burkha Dutt having an affair? Will someone tell her that he is not the reincarnation of Mother Teressa.
3) Indians supporting Pakistan during a cricket match. "We appreciate their cricket" " They play amazing" "There is nothing anti national about that". Cut the crap. C mon guys you would be in love with Serena williams if her name were Sheikh Serena. So support Yuvi even if he weighs 120Kg or shut then F*** up.
4) Youtube : What's with the "Islam will conquer the world" videos. Are you kidding me? Have ever heard of the word JEW? We can classify all human beings in 4 categories. 1) Who make these videos. 2. Who watch these videos and abuse each other in the comments. 3. Who dont give a shit. 4. Who is writing this shit.
5) Celebs : SRK, Salman, Inzy . whats with the Inshallah after every four words you speak. We know what Khan from the epiglottis means. Have you ever seen Ranbir Kapoor say Hey Ram ,that was a nice movie. Or Sachin say "Ganapathi bappa, I scored a century".
6) Women : Ya they are called Women. Not child producing machines. Give them some freedom boys. Let them wear whatever they like. And who is that woman who wants to wear the veil in France? She seriously needs to go to a shopping mall. PS : Taking a group photo while wearing burqas is senseless.
7) Polygamy : Why do you get to marry 4 and others just one?
8) Co-existence : Yes its called co existence. Why do they want everyone in the world to follow Islam. Why co-existence is not in their dictionary?
9) You cant have a mosque in Ayodha till there is a temple and a Church in Mecca.
10) What is this Fatwa anyway? Can we have a facebook app on it. Imagine my wall will look like Rahul has fatwaad Raj. Do you want to fatwa too? Click here.
The other religions also have their senseless steroetype I would write a post this as well.
Above all,
I adore the common man of India be it a Muslim or a Hindu or of any other religion who doesn't care about all this and works hard to earn his bread and plays his role in the society.
The Kashmir protests on the Quran burning has triggered me to write this.
OR in other words "MISSION IMPOSSIBLE".
Throughout the post I am going to be cynical about the Stereotype Muslims of the world.
I find it strange that most of the conflicts around the world involve Muslims. May be they are oppressed worldwide or they are damn belligerent. I have decided to write down the top 10 things which come to my mind.
1) Kashmir : No, India would not make Kashmir an Independent state. That would result into another Islamic country and we are already surrounded by two. We do not want a third one. NO there is nothing called kashmiri. First rehabilitate all the Pundits displaced from the valley. Then ask them to have as many kids as possible then India might think of Kashmir. Whats with these guys someone burns the Quran in USA and they protest in Kashmir and want a separate country?
2) Zakir Naik : Who the hell sucked his blood out and why does he behave like a walking talking index of the Quran and Bhagwat Gita? Is he and Burkha Dutt having an affair? Will someone tell her that he is not the reincarnation of Mother Teressa.
3) Indians supporting Pakistan during a cricket match. "We appreciate their cricket" " They play amazing" "There is nothing anti national about that". Cut the crap. C mon guys you would be in love with Serena williams if her name were Sheikh Serena. So support Yuvi even if he weighs 120Kg or shut then F*** up.
4) Youtube : What's with the "Islam will conquer the world" videos. Are you kidding me? Have ever heard of the word JEW? We can classify all human beings in 4 categories. 1) Who make these videos. 2. Who watch these videos and abuse each other in the comments. 3. Who dont give a shit. 4. Who is writing this shit.
5) Celebs : SRK, Salman, Inzy . whats with the Inshallah after every four words you speak. We know what Khan from the epiglottis means. Have you ever seen Ranbir Kapoor say Hey Ram ,that was a nice movie. Or Sachin say "Ganapathi bappa, I scored a century".
6) Women : Ya they are called Women. Not child producing machines. Give them some freedom boys. Let them wear whatever they like. And who is that woman who wants to wear the veil in France? She seriously needs to go to a shopping mall. PS : Taking a group photo while wearing burqas is senseless.
7) Polygamy : Why do you get to marry 4 and others just one?
8) Co-existence : Yes its called co existence. Why do they want everyone in the world to follow Islam. Why co-existence is not in their dictionary?
9) You cant have a mosque in Ayodha till there is a temple and a Church in Mecca.
10) What is this Fatwa anyway? Can we have a facebook app on it. Imagine my wall will look like Rahul has fatwaad Raj. Do you want to fatwa too? Click here.
The other religions also have their senseless steroetype I would write a post this as well.
Above all,
I adore the common man of India be it a Muslim or a Hindu or of any other religion who doesn't care about all this and works hard to earn his bread and plays his role in the society.
The Kashmir protests on the Quran burning has triggered me to write this.
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